He Never Texts Me First But Always Replies

By Delphine •  Updated: 05/12/22 •  9 min read

Does this sound familiar to you? ‘He never texts me first but always replies fast when I do’. If this is you, then you are not alone. Many women are facing this challenge where they think their relationships are moving well until they realize their man never texts them first. 

If you like a man and you find yourself in this kind of situation, it’s completely normal to wonder who he’s texting instead.  This is exactly what a lot of women always think of. 

A lot of women wonder why their men never initiate a conversation on text. They are always bothered as to what makes them reply, you fast but never be the first one to start a conversation.  

In this article,  we will look at some possible reasons why men behave this way and also explain how you can go about inspiring him to start texting you first.

1. He has other priorities

You have to note that sometimes, your man could have many things on his mind aside from you. For example, if he is the breadwinner and has younger siblings he is taking care of, they are probably his top priority or if he is a father especially, a single father, his children will be his top priority. 

It’s important that you give him a break if this is the case. However, it’s also advisable that you continue texting him but make sure you do not overdo it. 

For example, if he doesn’t text you back right away, give it some time before sending him more messages. 

2. He has commitment issues

It could also be the case that he is unsure about having a relationship with you or that he doesn’t want to commit to a relationship. This usually happens when a guy wants a relationship with you but is not looking at something for the long-term.

There are many reasons why a guy will not want to commit but according to psychology,  there are about 8 reasons why a man will be afraid of commitment.  All the points will be covered throughout this article. 

However, one important reason is the fear of rejection. You may wonder how this is possible when you are the one doing the texting.  It is true, but he may still fear that if he texts you or tries to communicate first,  you may not respond in a way he expects and this will eventually validate his fear. 

Read: How To Keep A Conversation Going Over Text

3. He’s too busy to send texts first

If your man is a workaholic or has a lot of things on his hands then being busy is probably the reason why he doesn’t text you first.  It could be that he doesn’t have ethereal time to communicate in such a  way. 

If you think this is the case and he is also texting you back the it is a good sign that he likes you. 

4. He doesn’t like texting

Some men do not just like to text.  They may like to receive texts but have not gotten the hang of texting as it doesn’t come naturally to them. 

When you realize this is the case with him, then you should consider a phone call or a date as a way to get to know him better.  

5. He’s just not that into you

This may sometimes be the truth although it is a bitter pill to swallow.  If He’s never texting you first,  this could be a sign that he is not into you. This could be the reason why he is not texting you first. 

It’s important to observe him more and if you think this is the way things are,  then you should try and move on.

However, if it’s a boyfriend or a husband, then you should consider having a serious conversation with him. You should find out why he is acting strange and try your best to make things work out between you two.  

Read: How To Stop Caring About Someone

6. He’s trying to play hard to get

Although this may be an annoying reason, it’s important to note that some men feel this way. They just want you to chase after them . When it comes to issues like this, you should know as a woman that it is supposed to be the other way round.  

The man is supposed to do the chasing. If you realize you cannot resist texting him, you should just turn your phone off or maybe put it in another room. 

Allowing a man to rather do the chasing is a way to let him know that you are a confident and strong woman. This will let him know that other men may probably be chasing you and that you’re not just sitting and waiting for a man to come into your life.  

Avoiding your phone is also a way to prevent you from responding to his texts right away.


7. He’s not good at texting

There are guys who do not know how to text very well. Therefore,  when it comes to communicating with you via text, it makes them insecure. 

Once you realize that his responses are usually brief,  it is advisable to ask him which medium he prefers or feels comfortable with.


8. He’s a shy guy

Some guys are naturally shy or they are introverts. In this case, they mostly prefer being alone rather than being around a group of people. In this case, it could be that he is just clueless on how to start a conversation with you. 

You can text the first step and help him out by texting him first you can start by sending him texts that will require a yes or no answer from him. 


9. He’s not interested in a serious relationship

This is a very important point to take note of. A guy may not be texting you first because he doesn’t want to mislead you into thinking he is readily available to you. 

It could be an indication to you that he doesn’t want anything serious. It’s always important that you observe.  If you realize this, you should do your best to move on from such a guy. 

Read: Icebreaker Questions For Dating

10. He’s uncertain about how you feel

The dating scene comes with a whole lot. It can be brutal and there are many details both parties are always on the lookout for. You will be surprised to know that something as simple as the one to text first could possibly put you in a vulnerable position. 

It could be that his previous relationship was terrible and he now has commitment issues and it may be hindering him for  putting his all out for this relationship. 

If you realize this is the case, you should give him more time and allow him to completely heal with time, he will surely give it his all. 


11. You may be a side chick

This may be a bitter pill to swallow but there are times you have to be brutally honest. Sometimes, a guy is dating and sending multiple texts to different women with the purpose of just having fun with them.

He may, however, be into you but nevertheless, if you are not the only woman he’s in a relationship with or even talking to, then this could be because he doesn’t text you first.  

He may not be the guy for you if you are looking for something serious or for exclusivity but if you’re just surfing the dating scene, you may want to continue and give it a chance.  


To Conclude…

Aside from noticing that your man is finding it difficult texting you first,  have you tried talking to him about it?

It’s important that you have a solid conversation with him if his actions are bothering you.  


Frequently Asked Questions

It is advisable not to write to him first or send him open- ended questions if he never texts you first. 

It is a harsh reality but you should know that if he doesn’t text you back, it could mean he is not that into you. 


There are many reasons why a guy will never text you first but will always reply to you. He could be an introvert, he may be going through some challenges and many others. If you really like him and want a long term relationship with him, you can try and talk to him about it. 


You have to be very careful here. If you realize that the relationship is one-sided, you should take a step back or back off. However,  if it’s a serious relationship, you should have an honest conversation with your partner to try and understand what is going on with him. 

In my opinion, if you are in a relationship, it shouldn’t be one-sided. I also think playing hard to get is a very effective technique, which means you should let him take the lead. If he likes you, he will make it known. He may prefer a phone conversation, too. 


There are many reasons why this would happen. People get busy with life and love the responsibilities that come with it. He might have gone for a meeting and as such, couldn’t respond to your reply. It’s important that you put certain things into consideration  when you feel uncomfortable.