Looking for how to keep a conversation going over text? Keep on reading.
This article will help you with ideas on how to keep a conversation going over text.
To keep a healthy relationship, good communication is key especially when you’re getting to know someone. You don’t want the conversation to dry up even before it gets started. Neither do you want that person to cringe when they see your message and go like, “oh no, not this person again”.
Not everyone is a great conversationalist, others are great at conversations in person but terrible at texting. Some people just have problems with bringing up ideas to keep a conversation going, especially over text. However, with consistent and deliberate effort, they can change the narrative.
You can get close to anyone you want and impress them if you learn how to keep a conversation going, especially over text.
Here are some tips to help you talk your way through a person’s heart over text.
- Plan ahead:
Before you engage someone (romantic partner or potential one) in a text conversation, have a few topics in mind to keep the conversation on track. You don’t want an awkward pause in the middle of the conversation. Choose topics about work, where you live, hobbies, interest and engaging stuff. This doesn’t mean you should have a rehearsal, don’t text like it’s been rehearsed. That’ll be very awkward. Allow the conversation to have a very natural flow and know what to say at the right time.
- Ask open-ended questions:
It is best to ask a question that will not need a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ but would require the other person to go into details. Usually a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and other one-word answers bring conversations to an abrupt pause and sometimes even end them. Open-ended questions will give you the opportunity to ask more questions based on the other person’s answer. For example, if you ask someone, “how are you doing today?”, they are most likely going to say, “I’m fine”, “doing great” and you’re going to say, “that’s great”, “good to hear”… etc and that will pretty much be the end of the conversation. Consider an open-ended question like this; “what was interesting about your day?”. This will give them the opportunity to go into details and tell you what happened during the day. Based on the answer, you can ask more questions and keep the conversation going.
- Find common ground:
One of the easiest ways of bonding with someone is to have common grounds, simply meaning having the same interests. It would help you to talk a lot more about it and share what you like about it and why you like it. If you both love animals, you can talk about pets, what you like about them and all that. If you both like traveling , you could share your bucket lists, talk about places you’ve visited and just share it with each other. You should note that, it would be better if topics like politics and religion aren’t talked about, you don’t know a person’s stand and these topics usually kill the conversation and even possible friendships than bring people together.
- Take part in the conversation:
You should use questions as a way to take part in the conversation. Don’t make it look like a quiz, or question-drill. You want it to be an actual conversation. You should use every answer that comes as a way to share something about yourself. For example;
You: “When did you realize what you wanted to do in life?”
Other person: “I gained interest in studying business back in high school”
You: “wow…very ambitious, I was way less ambitious in high school, my interests – the next game”
Other person: “you were into sports, which game did you play?”
You: “basketball, I was the point guard. So tell me, what made you develop an interest in business back in high school”
Read: Are Some People Meant To Be Alone?
- Listen intently:
Let the other person know that you are interested in the conversation. This will make the person get the feeling that they are being seen, noticed and heard in the little details about themselves. It will encourage them to open up to you more. Don’t worry about what you are going to say next. Allow the conversation to flow naturally while paying special attention to it.
- Make sure the time is right:
Sometimes, the time may just not be right to engage someone in a conversation. If you notice anything like that, you could ask them, “would you want to talk another time?”, “is this a bad time to talk?”, “I would like to have a conversation with you but I respect this may not be the right time?”. This will give them the opportunity to let you know whether it’s a good time to talk or not.
- Use the weather as a lead-in to a broader conversation:
There is a reason whether weather always comes upon conversations. Everyone always has something different to say about it because it’s so universal. The other person’s view of the weather is a way to know more about their favorite seasons, the activities they partake in during that time and the seasons they dread. You would even know how their day went because the weather may affect one’s mood. You can ask questions like;
- If you had the opportunity to make a season vanish forever, which would it be?
- To you, what does a day of perfect weather look like?
- Last night, did you have snow?
- It’s very cold here, how about where you are?
- Don’t engage the person in a conversation they are not interested in:
When you bring up a topic and the other person doesn’t seem interested, don’t continue. Just change the topic and move onto another one. Not all people are comfortable with certain topics. If you decide to push forward, they may ignore you and may never respond to your message again.
- Chip in details from past conversations:
Bringing up details from past conversations show the other person that you actually pay attention to the conversation and the little details about them. It will awaken some interest in them and that will help the conversation stay alive. It could be about the exam they took last week, the annoying lecturer in class or about how their pet is doing.
- Don’t dominate the conversation:
Keep the conversation two sided and allow the other person to also talk about themselves. Don’t let it be only about yourself, it’ll create the impression that you are a selfish person. People like talking about themselves and if you keep putting the focus back on you, they may lose interest and may not want to have conversations with you again. They’ll start making excuses whenever you want to have a conversation with them. For instance if the other person texts you that their day was bad, don’t go like, “yeah mine was also bad – had a fight with my boss”. It’ll make them feel unheard and unnoticed. Instead, you can say, “sorry about that, ready to listen if you want to talk about it” or “we can talk about it if you want. Don’t know if it’ll make you feel better but I had a bad day too”
- Send a joke to the other person:
If you realize the conversation is becoming boring, you can tell a joke to revive it. Tell a light joke if you just started talking to the person but make sure it’s funny enough to let them laugh. Unless they’ve said so, don’t tell a crude joke they might not like. You could start by saying, “hey, I don’t intend to change the direction of what we’re talking about but my friend just shared a joke I thought you’d appreciate…” then you add the joke. In case you have no joke to share, you can send them a meme or GIF.
- Don’t multi-text them:
No one finds it cute when you over text them. Most people see that as a red flag, it could mean you’re a needy person. You could send one or two messages in a row and give them time to reply. That’s a way to keep the conversation going. However, if the other person sends you a lot of messages in a row, don’t assume they are needy. They’re probably trying to get you to take part in the conversation so be open and text them back. If it’s in moderation it could mean they enjoy texting you so they want to share everything.
Read: Drinking Games For Couples
- Reply their text in a reasonable amount of time:
No one likes it when their texts are ignored. Make sure you send a reply to the other person’s texts quite promptly. A conversation could die out if messages are not promptly replied. In case you are doing something due to which you cannot respond on time, let the other person know. It will prevent them from thinking that you’re ignoring them.
- Talk about things they shared on social media:
Before you do this, make sure you are friends on social media and that other person is aware. No one wants creepy people as friends. It could be a picture they shared while on a vacation. You can ask them where they went, if it was fun or you could even ask them to share the entire experience with you. It could also be an article that they shared, share your thoughts and have a conversation on that. This will also give the person an impression that you care and you are actually paying attention to every detail about them.
- Use emoji:
Using emoji is a great way of showing your emotions. Those little facial expressions are everything especially because you cannot see the actual fact of the person you’re texting. It makes it easier for the other person to understand you. Research has found that people who use emoji have more first dates than those who don’t. Spice up your conversations with emoji.
- Don’t pretend:
Just be yourself. By now, you should have your own way of texting. If it’s being sarcastic, text that way. The other person will get used to it as time goes by. Don’t try to be too formal or text in a way you usually would not. That will make the conversation boring because it will not flow and even you would not feel it. Do not use too many short forms because not everyone understands them and try your best to respect the other person as well.
- Send a photo or video:
You can send a photo or video of recent happenings in your life. Don’t just send it, add some context so they have an idea of it. It could be a picture of a shirt you bought, you could ask them for their thoughts on its look. You could send pictures and videos of your pet doing silly things, it could be pictures or videos of you biking…etc. If you’re sending a picture of a new shirt you bought, you can go like, I bought this shirt a week ago, what do you think of it?
- Identify if they need help and offer a helping hand:
This doesn’t mean you should go poking your nose into their business or hire an investigator to find out if they are having problems. You will realize if they need help when you are texting. They will probably complain about certain issues and you should offer a helping hand if you can. It will make them feel heard and cared for. For example, if they are complaining of always fighting with their boss, you can go like, “I’m sorry to hear about that, is there anything I can do to help?”. If you cannot help, you can say, “sorry about that, I wish I could help but I can’t at this moment”
- Know when to end the conversation:
You will know if the conversation is coming to an end, bring it to an end before the flames go out. Don’t just pull out. Let them know you are ending it. You can tell them you have to attend to something and text them later. It’ll be better to text them another time than to let the conversation end awkwardly without any chance of texting again.
Read: How To Get Rid Of Hickeys
Wrapping Up,
Not everyone is good at having conversations, especially over text. All you need to do is to develop your own tactics and use the tips provided and you’ll always find it easy when having text conversations. Showing that you are intently listening, not being judgmental and knowing when to text will always put you in the right direction when texting.
We hope this has been of help.
Kwabena Okyire Appianing
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