How To Tell If A Guy Is Interested In You Or Is Just Being Friendly

By Delphine •  Updated: 05/12/22 •  8 min read

Want to know if a guy is interested in you or is just being friendly?

Well, according to the error management theory, men are biologically more likely to think women are attracted to them even if they are not.  

While women are more likely to think men have not attracted them, even if they are. 

This goes to prove the point that it’s easy for women to convince themselves that the man they are interested in doesn’t like them back and as such, a lot of women have missed out on romantic relationships because they didn’t think it was going to be possible. 

 Unlike women, most men will go out of their way to make their intentions known to the woman they desire. This could be in the form of prolonged eye contact and body language. 

This can become frustrating for a woman when they can’t figure out if a guy is interested in them or is just being friendly.  It’s important to note that it is not always easy to differentiate everyday sociability and kindliness from flirting.  

If you are wrong about his intentions, then the situation could get bad and even damage your friendship.  

So how can you tell if someone is flirting or just being nice and polite?

We’ve put together this list of indicators to help you find the answer to your question. 

Let’s get started !


1. He thinks of a way to contact you

If a guy likes you, he will always think of a way to come into contact with you one way or the other. It’s important to note that this doesn’t mean a man that occasionally greets you at the supermarket or bookstore automatically likes you.  

It doesn’t matter if it’s a man that greets you in a bookstore or strikes up a conversation at the bar. If a guy really likes you, he will think of a way to come into some form of contact with you.

When a man truly likes you, he will do everything to strike up a conversation between you two when he sees you around. He may just walk up to you to ask you about the time or just walk up to you and decide to give you a compliment. It’s possible that he walks up to you and decides to give you a compliment just to strike a conversation between you two. 

When you realize a guy does this most times,  it probably means he is really into you. 

You also have to be aware that some guys will be very afraid to walk up to a girl and try to strike up a conversation with them. So if he never does this, it doesn’t mean he is not into you – he may just be very afraid. 


2. He thinks everything you say is interesting

A guy will literally not get enough of you if he is really into you. It’s important to note that just because he carefully listens to you doesn’t mean he wants to be polite.  

The reason could also be, he really likes and wants to just listen to you for hours unend.

At this point, he thinks everything you say is interesting. Truth is guys don’t care about certain things like workplace gossip but when you realize he is very attentive and listens to every bit of the gossip, then he might be really into you. 

Read: Drinking Games For Couples

3. You ‘coincidentally’ like the same things

When a guy is into you, he wouldn’t mind participating in the things that you like. He coincidentally likes the same things.

For example,  if you realize a guy is always willing to participate in activities like going shopping with you,  it may be an indication that he is really into you. 

He wouldn’t mind doing things that you like, it’s possible he won’t even complain about it. 


4. He wants to solve all your problems

 If a guy is really into you,  he will want to take care of everything that has to do with you. It’s important to note that this is a masculine trait you will see often. 

Exhibiting such a masculine trait doesn’t mean he thinks you can’t fix things yourself. For example, he knows you can carry that heavy bag of groceries yourself yet he will do everything to take it from you and carry it. 

This type of behavior is hardwired into the brain of men. He wants to do it because that’s what all men do when they like a woman and there’s no stopping at it. 


5. He wants to protect you

A man will try to protect you the very first time he meets you once he likes you. The truth is, he will want to show you his masculine behavior even if he just met you. 

For example,  if he just got to meet you in a nightclub and he likes you,  he will position himself in a way so you won’t get pushed around. 

If it’s cold outside,  he will offer you his coat to keep you warm. That’s just his macho behavior showing. 

It’s important to note that a guy will not just do this for any girl unless he is really into her. So if you realize he is like this with you, then it may be an indication that he is into you. 

Read: Signs Your Boss Wants To Sleep With You

6. He’s teasing you

When a guy is into you,  he will always find a reason to tease you.  

For example, he will like passing sarcastic comments or try to fool you in one way or the other.  

When you realize this,  then it is an indication that he is into you or that he wants more than friendship.  


7. He asks you a lot of questions

It’s important to know that when a man is truly into you, he will always want to find a way to talk to you. 

For example,  he will ask you so many questions about yourself because he wants to know almost everything about you. 

Don’t be surprised to ask yourself why he is asking you all those questions. 

If you realize that there’s practically no reason that he would need the information he is asking you the questions on, it’s a clear indication that it’s just a way to talk to you.  


8. He occasionally “forgets” to make eye contact with you

When a guy is into you, he finds it more pleasing to appreciate your physical appearance than to look you in the eyes. 

This is a powerful sign that he is attracted to you.  

Just consider this,  if a man is constantly checking you,  it means he finds you attractive, else he would never check you out like that. 

On the other hand if he doesn’t find you attractive,  he would never check you out like that. He would just maintain an eye and that will be all.


9. He leans in (a lot) when he’s talking to you

This is a common thing guys do when they are into you.  Most times, they don’t even recognize it themselves. 

You will easily notice that when a guy  wants to flirt with you, he will physically lean forward a  bit. This is something all men do. 

So, if you notice this yourself whenever you are talking to a man, it may probably mean he enjoys your company.  

It’s important to also note that the reason why most men do this is, they want your attention. 


10. He tries to get closer

This is another form of body language. When you realize that a man finds every way possible to get close to you, then it may be a powerful sign that he is into you. 

For example,  he sits very close to you when you go out on a date or he comes up and stands very close to you often in a bar. 

It’s a sign that he is into you and is probably hitting on you. 

Read: He Never Texts Me First But Always Replies

Final Words

Try as much as possible not to overthink the situation. The best advice is to just focus on the fact that he is probably into you. 

However, if you aren’t interested, you have to let him know about it but do so with compassion. For example,  if he’s talking to your friends,  let them know that you aren’t interested and if they have access to him, they will surely let him know about your stands. 

If you are interested,  you can let him know about how you feel about him.