What do girls look for in a guy?

By Kwabena Okyire Appianing •  Updated: 03/08/22 •  11 min read

Have you ever wondered about  the things women look for in a man? Could it be his smile, his eyes or something deeper than that?

If you’re reading this right now, chances are that there may be a girl you want to impress but you just don’t know how to go about catching her attention. 

It’s important to note that aside from good looks, there are other traits that girls look for in a man or that they find attractive.  

It’s important to note that every woman has her list of qualities that she wants in her ideal partner. 

According to relationship coach Deborah Roth, they can be broken down into three categories : her negotiables,  her wouldn’t be nice and her deal breakers qualities. These qualities are different for everyone. 

Do you want to be more attractive in the eyes of the woman you so much desire? Or that you want her to finally notice you?

This article has been put together just for you.  The knowledge in this article will help you avoid many different uses with women and help make your dating life a whole lot easier.  

Let’s dive in !

  1. Women want men who are patient.

It is often said that patience is a virtue and almost all of us have come across this saying at one point in time. 

Patience is a very important virtue in almost all aspects of our lives and especially in dating. Nothing is perfect, and so are relationships.  That is, from the onset, there will be a few challenges here and there and it is always at such a point that patience becomes a relevant key. 

Every woman wants a guy who easily understands her and is very patient with her. 

Women don’t want guys who are uninterested in their dreams and goals or men who just want to sleep with them. It’s important to note that women consider men who are patient and as such, find it easy to adjust as partners for the long term. 

  1. Girls what guys that show genuine emotions

It is almost against guy code to be emotional. Just think about this, when was the last time you saw a guy shed a tear? This is exactly what girls look out for. Girls want to see the genuine bone in a guy’s body. 

Most girls believe that when a guy is genuine with you about your relationship and especially If he is emotional about that,  then it means he really cares for you and is ready to take you seriously.  

It is a known fact that when a guy opens up to his girl, it shows their relationship is built in trust. 

  1. A Good  Relationship With His Family:

Family is a very important factor for  girls when dating and especially when they are serious and looking forward to settling down in the future.

 It’s important that they see their man has a good and solid relationship with his parents and family. When this is well established,  it obviously means he will strive to have a good relationship with his girlfriend’s family. 

When it comes to the issue of family,  girls see guys who take time out of  their work week between their family, girl and friends to check up on them, spend quality time as well as relax with them as husband material.

  1. Girls want guys who are Spontaneous

Things are bound to get repetitive when you’re in a long-term relationship and if you don’t keep the spark alive, the relationship may get boring. This is why girls want guys who are full of surprises and are Spontaneous.

 Life becomes exciting with a guy who is ready to go for an adventure or is up for anything. This could be a dinner date at a very nice restaurant or a weekend getaway trip. 

Almost every girl will love to spend the rest of their lives with a guy who makes their adrenaline flow. 

  1.  Stamina

When it comes to relationships,  sex is a very important aspect of it. Some people do not believe this but it’s very true, sex matters when it comes to relationships.  Girls want guys who know what they want and they are not afraid to make their satisfaction their priority.  

It’s an established fact that no girl wants a guy who is selfish and is only concerned with his satisfaction. 

It’s important to note that physical attraction will definitely draw two people together however, it’s the long-term haul that will definitely keep them together. 

  1. Respect

It’s very important for guys to note that when it comes to dating a girl,  no matter what you’ve heard about her or how she may come off as, you owe her respect until you actually get to know her well. 

It’s also important to realize that respect is given and not earned and as such, you need to give her the utmost respect. Girls want the same respect that you think they owe you. 

Girls are generally observant , on a date, they’ll look for cues- how  you treat the waiter or waitress, do you hold the door open for them, do you walk, do you walk her to the car door amongst other things.

  1. Girls want guys who are confident

When it comes to dating, guys should know that there is a thin line between being arrogant and being confident.  Girls don’t want  guys who enter a room and think they are better than everyone else. No, they are looking for a guy’s who are confident in themselves and in their relationships.  

Girls want guys who make them good about themselves and at the same time, they also feel good about themselves. Such a man will not feel alone most of the time or easily get insecure when their girls want to spend some time with their friends. 

It’s important for all guys to note that when they find themselves going through their girlfriends phone, the problem is them and not their girlfriend. The moment you start to violate her personal space this way, it’s an indication that you don’t feel confident in your relationship and in your girlfriend.  

  1. Girls want guys who are loyal.

Loyalty is important in almost any relationship and as such, every girl wants to date a guy who is loyal. 

It’s important to note that it takes time to build trust and when that is established and a girl realizes that her guy is loyal, she will never worry about 

who he’s with or what he is doing.  

Girls will normally look at a guy’s friendship to establish how loyal he is – how long have you been friends with the guys you keep company with? It’s important for guys to note that if a girl gets to know that you had lifelong friendships,  it’s a sign to her that you are trustworthy and loyal.  

Loyalty is not only about you not going out to cheat on her, it also means you are going to be true to her and not at any point make her feel insecure about your relationship.   

  1. Intelligence

When it comes to settling down, girls prefer the nerd than the jock. Most girls are naturally attracted to smart guys – they are great and they are aware of what is going on around them.  

Most girls believe that intelligent guys know that there is a fair balance between work and play and they are able to create a life both parties deserve.

Girls don’t want to be with a guy who doesn’t even know one candidate running in the presidential election or doesn’t know basic things such as managing his own bank account.  Girls also look out for guys who can hold a discussion with their girls, friends and their family.

Read: How To Get Rid Of Hickeys

  1. Sense of Humor 

Every girl wants a guy who can make her laugh, you’ve heard it before and you will hear it again because it is very true. You don’t have to be a comedian but your ability to find humor in situations and in yourself will make you highly attractive to girls

  1. Girls want guys who are faithful

Attachment is a biological imperative for girls.  No girl wants to be cheated on or ditched when she is so much into you. Girls need to feel assured that their guy is going to stick around for a very long time.

  1. Positive Mindset

Girls want guys who are always in  a positive frame of mind.  They will do everything to avoid guys who are negative and depressed all the time. You have to develop a positive mindset at all times to motivate yourself and her especially during bad times.

  1. Girls want guys who are emotionally present

Girls want guys who will be with them, hold the space for them both emotionally and physically especially when things get tough for them or they are going through challenges.  

Girls want guys who will listen and pay attention to them when they talk. It’s important for guys to note that girls want to be heard at all times. They want their men to listen to them with compassion, a desire to truly understand them as well as with patience.  This is what girls want in guys the most. 

  1. Faithfulness

The truth is, no girl wants to be cheated on or ditched in a relationship. This is why girls at all times in a relationship want to feel assured that they are assured they are going  to stick around for a long time. 

To girls, this is a biological imperative which feeds into their maternal instincts.  

  1. Drive and purpose

It’s important to know that girls are attracted to men who have real goals in life and are putting in an effort to achieve those goals. 

However, if a man’s sole priority is to focus on the girl he is chasing,  he most often than not doesn’t come off as attractive to the girl. Women want men who have a purpose and drive. 

  1. Independence 

Girls want guys who are independent. A guy who is totally on his own and doesn’t have to depend on other people to survive.  Most girls believe that if a man is struggling to survive on his own, then there is no point in him being in a relationship. 

  1. Kindness

Although it may seem like girls love bad boys, which is mostly the general impression out there, the truth is, girls want guys who will treat them better. 

When it comes to a long term relationship, girls are looking for guys with good hearts who are kind and ready to be good to them.  

  1. Girls want guys who can be vulnerable and open up to them

The truth is, most girls do not feel comfortable with guys who love to be in a powerful position or hide their vulnerable side from them.  They feel they can relate more with guys who show off their vulnerability to them. 

When you show her your vulnerable side, she will see you as and person who is comfortable with yourself. This is what will make her comfortable with you. 

  1. Girls want guys who are stable. 

When it comes to long term relationships, girls consider stability as an important thing.  Most girls believe economic stability or financial stability is as important as emotional stability.  

Although girls want guys who can financially support themselves, they also want guys who can control their own emotions and thoughts. 

They want their guys to be stable in a relationship .

  1. Women want men who are protective

Girls want guys who are protective

As a man, it’s mandatory to make a woman feel secure around you. Once she begins to feel secure around you, she will always want to be around you.  

It’s important to note that if she rather feels defensive around you,  there is no scope of attraction that will develop. 

Read: Drinking Games For Couples


All these 20 points are things a girl looks for in a guy. These things help her to determine if a guy is someone who is compatible with her or not. 

It’s important to note that girls like to connect and  relate to others on many different levels therefore, when it comes to long term relationships, they look for guys who they are compatible with. 

Kwabena Okyire Appianing